This is where questions and answers will be posted if you have selected the “Public” answer method on the form. All personal data (i.e., names) will be removed and any potential identifying details will also be scrubbed from questions and answers. New responses will be added as they come available.

Q: My head is spinning. What shall I do to regain control?

A: It sounds like you’re going through a bit of of a crazy time, since you mentioned your “head is spinning”. Slow down, take a breath, and know you can get through this. Try to identify one thing you Can Do today to address an area of your life that you know needs your attention. And don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or need from the people in your life.

Q: This is a tag question to an answer you’ve already given. That is, you state, “ask for what you want or need from the people in your life.” What if… the people in your life (grown children) have families and drama in their own lives? I don’t want to be a burden, yet I need to unload once in a while.

A: So you are still going through a stressful time, and the people in your life (grown children or otherwise) have their own drama. First off, that is not a grand surprise, as most families have some degree of stress and periodically can have phases of drama. But that doesn’t mean you just sit in your drama and do nothing about it. Two options – one, you can still have a conversation with them that could go something like this, “Hi Family/Friend, I realize you too are going through some things in your family/life right now, and if there is anything I can do to help, please know I care and I will listen. I would also like to ask something of you…It would help me greatly if you could…I would really appreciate that. Is that something we could work on together?”

If however, the other party involved is in so much drama you don’t feel they would have the mental space to even hear from you, try to pause that conversation until things cool down. That doesn’t mean your needs are on hold. Just the discussion with them is on hold. But you can still take steps to care for yourself. Find another friend you could lean on for support. Also put the problem in perspective. Will the issue matter a few months or weeks from now?

Dear Susan

Tips to be your best Souly for You! What do you want more of in your life? (Awesome relationships, increased energy, greater life balance, healthy habits for mind and body, key communication skills, support for family dynamics or other tips for maximized personal growth).

What does Answer method mean?

  • You can either have your answer privately emailed to you by Susan and everything will remain confidential.
  • Or, you can have your question and answer scrubbed of ALL personal data and added to the FAQ section of the website (once available).
  • Eventually we'd like to have a repository of information that could be beneficial to other pilots. However, your privacy is our primary concern, so you will have full input before anything is ever posted.

Susan is a Memphis-native with 20 years’ experience in helping individuals, and diverse and international groups and companies, to create strategies to minimize stress and trauma, and maximize personal and professional success. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Trauma Specialist, Certified Employee Assistance Professional, and Mediator.